2012 has been a year filled with new experiences, new friends and lots of new fruits. Applying my last year's wishes, I would like to share with you one of the most valuable lessons I learnt in 2012. I'll never forget the moment: a friend of mine came over for a visit, so I was showing her around the historical centre. We decided to have a beer on the Plaza de San Francisco, which has one of the only outside terraces on which you can enjoy a drink or a bite in the open air.
As we were updating each other on our lives, I was telling her how I was enjoying myself on a personal level in my new habitat, yet felt rather unsatisfied with my professional environment. I had just come up to speed rambling, when my friend interrupted me to say: if there's one lesson I've come to learn over the years, it is that you cannot have it all. No matter how hard you try, there will always be something that is missing from the picture. So you better learn to live with the fact that you cannot have it all: appreciate all the good you have instead of focusing on what you do not have!
It took me a while to absorb the message and, most of all, to accept its ramifications. Not an easy feat, especially when society surrounds you with images of success, glamour and glitter, where the sky is the limit and life seems burdenless. As soon as I accepted my friend's advice, however, I cannot count the times that I saw, read or lived the proof of that valuable lesson. Be it a volcano that didn't let me ascend to her summit, women who still cannot match a high fly job with nurturing their families, or simply a clash of agendas, life abounds with examples that you simply cannot have it all, nor should you try to.
Appreciate all the good things around you, do not abandon ship at the first sight of stormy clouds. Just give the sun some time to break through. Of course, if you still feel you're on the wrong track, you can always change direction. Just don't give up too soon, keep patient and enjoy the good company while it lasts!
As for me, the sky has cleared: not long after my friend left, work has become a lot more interesting up to the point that I am more than happy to extend my stay here. And, besides professional reasons, there are still some mountains left to climb... But for now, I wish you all the best for the new year, and don't forget to smile!
Showing posts with label inspiration. Show all posts
Showing posts with label inspiration. Show all posts
Monday, 24 December 2012
Monday, 19 November 2012
Lessons from the mountains
Following a break of two months after an intensive period of mountain climbing, I have picked it up again. After all, you have to make the most out of living in another country; with so many impressive mountains and volcanoes so close by, I cannot resist the perfect escape from Quito's busy, CO2-emitting traffic into the crispy, fresh air of the páramo and beyond. Not only are the mountains home to such pristine nature that it makes you instantly forget about your daily sorrows, they also teach you valuable lessons for most big endeavours you may undertake in life, be they personal or professional.
The most obvious ingredient for success is no doubt passion. If you don't believe in your project, if you don't have a deep drive or if you don't feel passionate about what you are doing, it will be difficult to overcome the rough bumps on the road that leads to your final goal.
Second of all, a sound preparation is essential. You cannot reach the top of Ecuador's second highest volcano (Cotopaxi, 5894m) without a decent training - believe me, I have tried (and failed). That is, unless you are very lucky and external circumstances allow you to make it. No, before attempting to sweep away the big prize, you should start climbing some lower peaks to train you physically, and learn the basics of glacier climbing to train you technically. This way you get to learn your own body, how it behaves in different circumstances, and you grow confidence not only in your physical abilities, but at least as important, also in the technical gear that you carry with you. All this preparation gives you the confidence necessary to react pertinently in adverse situations and maintain your cool when you're staring into a seemingly bottomless crevasse.
Furthermore, this preparation gives you the intuition that allows you to identify people to guide you. Most likely, you're not the first to walk the road you're on. Rather than reinventing the wheel, you should learn to accept the guidance of others and trust them to lead the way. Experience and training help you to identify the various elements needed to reach your goal, and to recognize when people are skilled in those aspects.
Unless you are going it alone, there are more people involved in your endeavour. Some of them are literally tied to you, while others are walking just in front or behind you. You won't reach the summit if you don't learn to tolerate each other's characters. You're all on the same path, headed for the same goal, and you shouldn't let frustration and each other's deficiencies come in between of reaching that shared objective. Whenever you're having trouble with someone, spit it out in a clear and respectful way rather than bursting out. Suggest how you could make it work differently, instead of growing a grudge against the other person: you need to be able to trust each other, that you will do all it takes when one of you falls into a crevasse or lacks the energy to grab some hot tea. Only when you open yourself up for the people around you, can you learn about their motivations and their behaviour; understanding each other is the best way to team up your efforts and maximise your results. In short: tolerance, compassion and constructive communication are essential for a team to make it work.
Finally, it is hard to overstate the importance of having a support network of people who stand by you and your endeavour, whoever and wherever they may be. They will give you that little extra push in the back when you need it most, it's as simple as that.
The most obvious ingredient for success is no doubt passion. If you don't believe in your project, if you don't have a deep drive or if you don't feel passionate about what you are doing, it will be difficult to overcome the rough bumps on the road that leads to your final goal.
Second of all, a sound preparation is essential. You cannot reach the top of Ecuador's second highest volcano (Cotopaxi, 5894m) without a decent training - believe me, I have tried (and failed). That is, unless you are very lucky and external circumstances allow you to make it. No, before attempting to sweep away the big prize, you should start climbing some lower peaks to train you physically, and learn the basics of glacier climbing to train you technically. This way you get to learn your own body, how it behaves in different circumstances, and you grow confidence not only in your physical abilities, but at least as important, also in the technical gear that you carry with you. All this preparation gives you the confidence necessary to react pertinently in adverse situations and maintain your cool when you're staring into a seemingly bottomless crevasse.
Furthermore, this preparation gives you the intuition that allows you to identify people to guide you. Most likely, you're not the first to walk the road you're on. Rather than reinventing the wheel, you should learn to accept the guidance of others and trust them to lead the way. Experience and training help you to identify the various elements needed to reach your goal, and to recognize when people are skilled in those aspects.
Unless you are going it alone, there are more people involved in your endeavour. Some of them are literally tied to you, while others are walking just in front or behind you. You won't reach the summit if you don't learn to tolerate each other's characters. You're all on the same path, headed for the same goal, and you shouldn't let frustration and each other's deficiencies come in between of reaching that shared objective. Whenever you're having trouble with someone, spit it out in a clear and respectful way rather than bursting out. Suggest how you could make it work differently, instead of growing a grudge against the other person: you need to be able to trust each other, that you will do all it takes when one of you falls into a crevasse or lacks the energy to grab some hot tea. Only when you open yourself up for the people around you, can you learn about their motivations and their behaviour; understanding each other is the best way to team up your efforts and maximise your results. In short: tolerance, compassion and constructive communication are essential for a team to make it work.
Finally, it is hard to overstate the importance of having a support network of people who stand by you and your endeavour, whoever and wherever they may be. They will give you that little extra push in the back when you need it most, it's as simple as that.
On top of the Cayambe, Ecuador's third highest volcano (5790m); during the ascent in the night of All Soul's Day, I just felt lifted up by my three deceased grandparents who had my back and provided the perfect weather conditions to reach the summit.
Thursday, 14 June 2012
Win-win diplomacy
Old people have something intriguing about them. It is as if every wrinkle has a story that formed it, and every hair a life experience that coloured it grey. Most of the times, I simply admire the history they embody, while imagining what their lives must have been like and which mesmerising stories they carry with them. Sometimes, though, I seek engagement, to learn about their lives, to listen to their memories, and to share some happiness. After all, a lesson learnt now might save you the trouble of missing the mark when you get to face it later on.
That's how I ended up having lunch with UNDP Ecuador's outgoing Resident Coordinator and Country Director, whose retirement (not to be mistaken with idle leasure time) awaits him in but a few months time at his beach-front house in Panama. A lifetime of experience within the UN system made for some good conversation and useful career tips, which I'm happy to share here.
As for your career, whichever direction it may take, the above image pretty much sums it up. Find something that you are passionate about, that you love doing. Make sure you do it well enough so that people are willing to pay for it. If, on top of that, this something of yours happens to be something people need, then you've got yourself a dream ticket. Things rarely come that easy, though. Therefore, plan ahead: start thinking now about the spot in which you'd like to see yourself working in say 5, 10 or 20 years; check out job vacancies that match that very profile to see which road to take to gather the required experience and skills; and watch your own back: no one will take care of your career but yourself, no matter how lofty, noble and high-spirited the organisation you work for presents itself to be.
When asked about his rule of thumb for multilateral diplomatic settings, he was very affirmative: make sure that your actions offer a win-win solution for all parties involved. You won't make nor keep any friends by getting what you want at their expense or by critising without offering alternative solutions. In a world of connections, networks of success are built through win-win diplomacy. Thus, think twice before saying or acting, strike the right balance between content and form, and always make sure to have a trump card to put on the table.
A last piece of advice from this social media savvy, TED-talks aficionado: always save some part of your earnings for whatever unexpected calamity may hit your path, or for a tranquil retirement. Not that he will rest on his laurels, of course: consultancies and teaching will fill up much of the years to come, to pay the bills and take care of his family. After all, that's how he had envisaged his 80th birthday (still some time away, though): surrounded by his family and friends.
That's how I ended up having lunch with UNDP Ecuador's outgoing Resident Coordinator and Country Director, whose retirement (not to be mistaken with idle leasure time) awaits him in but a few months time at his beach-front house in Panama. A lifetime of experience within the UN system made for some good conversation and useful career tips, which I'm happy to share here.
Source: Oxford Leadership Academy
As for your career, whichever direction it may take, the above image pretty much sums it up. Find something that you are passionate about, that you love doing. Make sure you do it well enough so that people are willing to pay for it. If, on top of that, this something of yours happens to be something people need, then you've got yourself a dream ticket. Things rarely come that easy, though. Therefore, plan ahead: start thinking now about the spot in which you'd like to see yourself working in say 5, 10 or 20 years; check out job vacancies that match that very profile to see which road to take to gather the required experience and skills; and watch your own back: no one will take care of your career but yourself, no matter how lofty, noble and high-spirited the organisation you work for presents itself to be.
When asked about his rule of thumb for multilateral diplomatic settings, he was very affirmative: make sure that your actions offer a win-win solution for all parties involved. You won't make nor keep any friends by getting what you want at their expense or by critising without offering alternative solutions. In a world of connections, networks of success are built through win-win diplomacy. Thus, think twice before saying or acting, strike the right balance between content and form, and always make sure to have a trump card to put on the table.
A last piece of advice from this social media savvy, TED-talks aficionado: always save some part of your earnings for whatever unexpected calamity may hit your path, or for a tranquil retirement. Not that he will rest on his laurels, of course: consultancies and teaching will fill up much of the years to come, to pay the bills and take care of his family. After all, that's how he had envisaged his 80th birthday (still some time away, though): surrounded by his family and friends.
Monday, 26 December 2011
Warm wishes for today, tomorrow and the days after!
It's the time of the year when many gather with family and friends, to share love and warmth, stories of happiness and sorrow, and laughter. It's also the time of the year when we wish each other the best possible for the new year to come. Next year should be even more glorious, joyful and prosperous than the previous one - imagine the challenge these wishes bring with them as you grow older.
I won't wish you the best, for many others have certainly done so already. Instead of looking forward, I wish you time to look back. Take a look back into last year and think about what you have done, what has happened in your life and how you have felt. Try, then, to gather from these experiences the good things and the bad things and see how they were brought about. What would you like to happen again, what would you like to feel again, what would you like to do again?
Not the what is important in that question, but the how: how did you live, how were you back then? And how can you be to create the space for it to happen again? It's a form of taking care of yourself, for only if you feel well, you can take care of others. So I wish you time to reflect, to nurture yourself, for you to feel confident to face the new year, come what may.
Just like this group of Peruvians, sitting in a bus on their way to march the Inca trail. Their eyes all tell a different story. They were sitting quiet in the bus, looking outside; yet, they were also looking inside, inside themselves, building up strength to face the adventure ahead of them. When you're mentally fit and ready, you've conquered half the journey already!
Happy New Year!
Monday, 21 November 2011
Small thoughts that made me a happier person
A few weeks ago, I attended a Red Cross information session in a buddhist temple near Antwerp. It was the first time I'd been there, so I was paying close attention to our host's tour of the site. We ended in the praying/meditation hall for a last few words on what buddhism now actually entails and how people practise it. As I've had an interest in this life philosophy for quite a while, but never really gotten into the matter, I was curious to learn about the basics. One of the 'attitudes' to put into practice in your daily life, has struck me in particular, so here's me sharing this valuable insight with you!
One should not hold any grudge against anyone else for matters they are not responsible for. Or, put differently, before blaming a stranger for something, think again about why it is that you're cross with that person. You'll find that in most cases, there's no reason to feel angry with that person.
At least, that's what I've experienced ever since. Long-legged as I am, I often felt bothered by streets or paths filled with slower walking people. But, then I realised, they're not blocking my way on purpose, they can't see me rushing from behind, so I can't blame them for not being able to see me. The same goes for getting mad at train personnel for a train that arrives late - they can't help it that there's a red sign in front of the train, they're just there to make sure you arrive safely at your destination. That's what you did, so be happy! And let's be honest, it certainly happens once in a while that I'm that slow walking person in your path, and I know, as a matter of fact, that it wasn't my intention to block your path!
If I then try to analyse why it is that I feel angry or upset, then I usually discover it's because I just couldn't bother leaving a bit earlier to make sure that I have sufficient time to make it to my destination; or that I am still dealing with some work issues completely unrelated to the person I was feeling upset about. Realising all this, has helped me tremendously in feeling happier in my everyday life. I feel a lot calmer and I have a more positive attitude towards the outside world. People feel this kind of energy. In fact, if more people would think this way, it'd be a lot nicer out there!
To complete this post to happiness, I leave you with another buddhist attitude I just recently discovered, but which I know will help me tons in being happier with life as it comes my way. If you can in any way contribute to the solution of a problem you're facing, then do so in every possible way you can; if not, then don't worry about it, because it is out of your control!
One should not hold any grudge against anyone else for matters they are not responsible for. Or, put differently, before blaming a stranger for something, think again about why it is that you're cross with that person. You'll find that in most cases, there's no reason to feel angry with that person.
Pick your favourite one
At least, that's what I've experienced ever since. Long-legged as I am, I often felt bothered by streets or paths filled with slower walking people. But, then I realised, they're not blocking my way on purpose, they can't see me rushing from behind, so I can't blame them for not being able to see me. The same goes for getting mad at train personnel for a train that arrives late - they can't help it that there's a red sign in front of the train, they're just there to make sure you arrive safely at your destination. That's what you did, so be happy! And let's be honest, it certainly happens once in a while that I'm that slow walking person in your path, and I know, as a matter of fact, that it wasn't my intention to block your path!
If I then try to analyse why it is that I feel angry or upset, then I usually discover it's because I just couldn't bother leaving a bit earlier to make sure that I have sufficient time to make it to my destination; or that I am still dealing with some work issues completely unrelated to the person I was feeling upset about. Realising all this, has helped me tremendously in feeling happier in my everyday life. I feel a lot calmer and I have a more positive attitude towards the outside world. People feel this kind of energy. In fact, if more people would think this way, it'd be a lot nicer out there!
To complete this post to happiness, I leave you with another buddhist attitude I just recently discovered, but which I know will help me tons in being happier with life as it comes my way. If you can in any way contribute to the solution of a problem you're facing, then do so in every possible way you can; if not, then don't worry about it, because it is out of your control!
Monday, 5 September 2011
Leave your comfort zone and learn!
When I had just embarked on my discovery of international politics (and whatnot), Kevin introduced me to The Economist. 'A must read, Tom, if you want to stay on top of things in this world. Sharp analyses, I'm telling you. My advice - subscribe, asap!' I still am, six years later. It's pretty addictive, I'll admit to that. It's just that they cover such a variety of issues from all over the globe, so reading your weekly issue feels like getting the hang of what's up in the world.
It's not until recently, however - say a year or so - that I started reading the whole issue, from cover to cover. Although the magazine is called 'The Economist', surprisingly most of its content is just reporting on world politics (with a strong economic focus, at times). But the 'Business' and 'Finance and Economics' sections had never appealed to me - too difficult when not having a clue about those topics, I thought. Turns out, they're quite readable even for an economy illiterate, and pretty damn interesting on top of that!
Amazing how much you can learn by expanding your horizon, going beyond what you already know, with what you already feel comfortable. So it is that I came across this very intriguing article in the 'Science and technology' section. Turns out there is this spider species in Central America, the Leucauge argyra, that has an interesting way of reproducing. Usually, the male spiders make plugs of mucus to seal the female's orifice after mating (other animals do it too, apparently). With this species, however, the female has been observed doing that to herself, for a very peculiar reason:
Yes, utter randomness. But that's why I like it! Often, my best ideas are inspired by other disciplines or areas of work. Not that I'm saying women should start plugging themselves with mucus for safe sex, but you never know which brilliant idea might arise from these unexpected articles or encounters. I'm not doing it enough myself, but: dare to leave your comfort zone and dig into terra incognita, you never know what you may come across…
It's not until recently, however - say a year or so - that I started reading the whole issue, from cover to cover. Although the magazine is called 'The Economist', surprisingly most of its content is just reporting on world politics (with a strong economic focus, at times). But the 'Business' and 'Finance and Economics' sections had never appealed to me - too difficult when not having a clue about those topics, I thought. Turns out, they're quite readable even for an economy illiterate, and pretty damn interesting on top of that!
Amazing how much you can learn by expanding your horizon, going beyond what you already know, with what you already feel comfortable. So it is that I came across this very intriguing article in the 'Science and technology' section. Turns out there is this spider species in Central America, the Leucauge argyra, that has an interesting way of reproducing. Usually, the male spiders make plugs of mucus to seal the female's orifice after mating (other animals do it too, apparently). With this species, however, the female has been observed doing that to herself, for a very peculiar reason:
Spider sex is unusual in that males transfer their sperm to the female on small limbs called pedipalps. They use these to pick their sperm up from their genitals and insert it into the female’s sexual orifice, rather than copulating directly. […] On the 14 occasions [observed] a sexual plug was made, the female produced it without assistance from the male. On ten of these occasions the male’s pedipalps then seemed to get stuck while he was transferring the sperm (which is rarely the case in other species of spider), and he had great difficulty freeing himself. In two of those ten instances, he was eaten as a result. The two researchers conclude, therefore, that what was once a mechanism which allowed females to discriminate between males has evolved into a way of trapping them so that they can be consumed at leisure. Whether only high-quality males, whose sperm the female also wishes to keep, are affected is not yet clear—though eating such males may bring the bonus of denying their sperm to rivals. Whatever the details, for male Leucauge argyra this behaviour gives a new meaning to the term “unsafe sex”.
Yes, utter randomness. But that's why I like it! Often, my best ideas are inspired by other disciplines or areas of work. Not that I'm saying women should start plugging themselves with mucus for safe sex, but you never know which brilliant idea might arise from these unexpected articles or encounters. I'm not doing it enough myself, but: dare to leave your comfort zone and dig into terra incognita, you never know what you may come across…
If it weren't for the sugar cane liquor before, I'd never put this anaconda up my shoulders...
Saturday, 13 August 2011
Five at a time
Here's to starting anew - a new look, a new profile picture, heck, even a new photo album. Why? There have been hundreds of topics crossing my mind, of which I said: this would make for a good blog entry. None of them made it here, as you can see. Enough of thinking about it, time to write some of those random thoughts down and try to make sense out of them.
The past few months have been quite eventful, filled with unexpected surprises and life-changing encounters. All this time, I have been looking for a meaningful job - alas, unsuccessful. Yet all these surprises and encounters have helped me to realise what it is I want to do with my life: to share. To share the little I know, the stories I picked up along the road, the joy of a smile and the passion to change lives for the better.
Asking myself if there would have been as many trees when this temple was actually in use
If that's what I want to do with my life, I might as well start here, right now. Wherever my professional wanderings will take me, writing will be intricately intertwined with whatever I'll be doing. No excuse, then, not to practise a bit more. I hope to manage translating my thoughts into concise blog entries, because, let's face it, no one has time (or the concentration skills?) any more to read a substantial piece of information passing their computer screens.
However, judging from the wanderings of my mind, this could turn problematic. Hence, a self-imposed limit of five paragraphs per entry. If I can't tell it in five, that means I'm on the wrong track, not being able to single out the essence of my thoughts or simply rambling and therefore wasting your time. After all, creativity starts when you cut a zero or two from your budget; it should work here, too.
I won't delimit the scope of this blog as I previously tried to do. It plainly didn't work, as you may have noticed. This should be a free space for whatever I feel like sharing with you, whether it is an inspiring TED talk I saw, a new MacOS trick I just discovered (but that I should have known ages ago) or the sheer randomness of being hit by a Korean old lady while waiting for a bus in the middle of nowhere. With such a gamut of topics, it's impossible to please all, I am aware of that. So, dear reader, if you don't like one entry, suck it up and come back later for the next journey into Tom's mind, five paragraphs at a time!
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